The door no one is ready to walk through
Written by Flowers by Zach-Low
Life brings us to a lot of doors in our time here on earth. Often these doors bring an angst of anticipation and uncertainty; the door to the doctor's office, the courtroom, a job interview, a new relationship. There is one set of doors however, that brings an angst of a different kind, this door makes our body take a pause and our lungs suck in a deep breath before we reach for the doorknob.
That is the doors to the funeral chapel.
We know that on the other side of these doors is a piece of our heart, an impending goodbye, and we realize that the feeling in our chest is an angst of finality.
As a human, I know that when those doors open, you will take some of the hardest steps of your life - the steps to goodbye. As a florist, I want to make these steps a little softer for you. I want you to see your loved one's life in the flowers that surround them, as soon as that door opens and your eyes settle on the front of the chapel. I hope you see the fishing pole tucked into the flowers and a memory flashes through your mind of fishing trips from years gone by. When you see the huge basketball made from flowers I hope your mind wanders to the many nights spent on the sidelines being their loudest cheerleader. I hope when you see the garden of pink roses atop Grandma's casket that your mind is taken back in time, remembering the wisdom shared during the long days in the garden. When you see the flowers sent from family and friends from across the country, you know so many people are holding you up in thoughts and prayers. As your eyes find the vibrant colors in the petals, the different shapes and sizes of the flowers and how they dance together, as your nose starts to smell the roses, I hope your body starts to feel grounded. As you begin to read the words of love written on the cards attached, I hope that you can find that deep breath your lungs were searching for, and your heart feels the warmth in the love and
sentiments of family and friends.
By the time you get to the front of the chapel to see your loved one, my desire is that you have had a walk of memories, of love and maybe even some laughter. Yes, you are there - walking through that dreaded door to commemorate their death - but you are also there to celebrate their life, and I hope to create a beautiful space for you to do that.
In our society, death is hard. We don't know what we are supposed to say, we don't quite know what we are supposed to feel. We know that death is a part of life, and a part of life that we all try to get some control over. We proudly proclaim "I don't want a funeral!" or "I don't want anyone to cry for me." or "I don't want anyone fussing over me when I'm gone."
I can tell you this, grief is the price we pay for love. And yes, grief is a heavy price, but the return on investment is so great, that it would be foolish to not invest.
Because these statements have become so normal, I think we have put an undue burden on families grieving a loved one's death. They now have to worry about managing how family and friends may react to their grief, when all any of us really need in the midst of great loss is people who show up and sit with us - not with fancy words or perfect gifts, but with shared broken hearts and time spent in the grief together.
While our loved ones are here with us, may we send the text, make the call, eat the cake, take the photos, and make the memories. When our loved ones pass on, may we share the memories, send the flowers, take the casserole, and show up to reach for that doorknob knowing that there are only steps to goodbye because of the hundreds of steps already walked in the journey.
